found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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