Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
