Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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