i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
