he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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