Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
