omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
