And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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