Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
