Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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