your room smells of hookers.
And success
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
