dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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