And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
