i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
