Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
