I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
