I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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