Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
