Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
