Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
