Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
