weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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