they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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