He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
