East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
