Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
