i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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