Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
