Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Randomize
