hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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