seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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