I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
