chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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