The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
did i walk over a car last night?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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