On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
don't judge my taste in strippers
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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