This is not my ceiling
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
