god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
