I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
