Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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