Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
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