I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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