Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Randomize
