I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
