can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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