Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
