i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
