i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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