Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
