Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
