Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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