butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
